Family Stories
Do you have stories about your parents, grandparents or yourself that get told and retold at gatherings of family and friends? Are there certain objects, sounds or smells that evoke memories and emotions that you just have to share? Two things happened this week that reinforced the importance of these stories and how sharing them helps us to understand our own relationships with family.
My parents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary and moved house for the final time (their words). They have only moved 4 times since they were married and each time, the agonising over what to keep and what to discard was made harder by the accumulation of ‘things’. Yet it gets easier as you realise that once you’ve gone, objects have no relevance to others unless you’ve shared the stories that go with them. As my folks live on the other side of the world to me, it will be interesting to see what has been kept. And my next visit will be full of questions about each and every item, so that I can keep those stories alive.
Then, this weekend we were involved in two different amateur film projects. One day in local venue and the next day in our own living room. There is a lot of down time while producers, directors and key lighting, camera and sound folk discuss each new scene and shot. So for the rest of us this becomes chat time, talking about different projects, plans for the future and… family. The film crew and actors on both days were a United Nations of creative folk but the common element was the discussion of family histories and background. What one presented as an unimportant fact or an every day task, phrase or habit, others found fascinating and were genuinely interested. This then generated so many other stories about parents, grandparents, relatives and their lives and adventures around the world. There was a glow on people’s faces when they found that someone wanted to listen to their little bit of the story, no matter if it was a romance, thriller, tragedy or humorous anecdote! It was comforting to find another whose family story included sparse pages due to wars or conflicts that were still too raw to detail. And then there was the shared laughter about annoying yet loved siblings and the familiar exasperation of their antics. Without realising it, through these stories, we were gaining an understanding of who we are, our relationships with family and how their history is a part of us.
It seems that sharing these family stories spreads a sense of belonging as well as a sense of ones own uniqueness and importance in what can be an isolating and insular world. It seems that stories are in our blood!
Do you have an object, a sound or a memory that brings family vividly to mind? Let me know below what your favourite family story is.